I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
