problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
