yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize