go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
