its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
