I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize