Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
