She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
