she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
