i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize