So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
