Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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