if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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