You can't special order awesome
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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