There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
