just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
