you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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