best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
