if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
