Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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