I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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