Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize