your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
