You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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