Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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