I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
