I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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