dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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