Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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