...so i touched it.
I think I won the penis lottery.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize