Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
