The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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