your parents love me but you hate me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
