What a fucking waste of an outfit
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
