Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
