Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
