3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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