I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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