so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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