I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
