No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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