My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Where is the hickey?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
