it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
