I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize