I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize