The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
