they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
