i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
