New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
