so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
