last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
