Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
