I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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