Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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