Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I understand Curling. That high.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Did I show you my penis last night?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
