they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
