So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
