im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
